Chasing Sobriety: A Journey Through the Challenge of Addiction

December 14, 2018

I always felt out of place as a child.

I felt awkward in social situations and I was extremely self conscious. When I found drugs, these feelings disappeared. When I was high, I felt comfortable in my own skin. I felt invincible and happy for the first time in my life. Looking back, I believe that I was an addict from the very start. Sure, I built a physical dependence on opiates after abusing them for an extended period of time, but I was mentally infatuated and obsessed with the high that was produced from the first time I took pain killers.

The progression of my addiction lead me to become a person I never thought I would be. I had so much potential – I was an honor roll student, a star basketball player, and a daughter who could do no wrong. Within 6 years of abusing drugs, I became a junkie who couldn’t get out of bed in the morning without sticking a needle in my arm.

By the age of 20, I had been put in jail for distribution of a controlled substance, I had lost my full-ride scholarship to university, and I had become suicidal. I saw no way out of the grips of addiction, so my goal each day was to do enough heroin to ensure that I would overdose and never wake up.

Two years later, I still hadn’t managed to end my life. One night, I told myself that if this last dose didn’t kill me, I would get help. When I woke up, I made the phone call to my mother that would change my life forever.

I went to a detox where I was medically supervised during my withdrawal period, followed by three months of inpatient rehab. Treatment was great for me, I needed physical separation from drugs and a safe place to sleep at night, but the reason I am sober today is because of the measures I took to change my life once I was released from rehab.

I chased my sobriety just as furiously as I chased my drugs and I got it. I began to surround myself with women who had more clean time than I did and I took every suggestion that was given to me. I was told to find a God of my own understanding and to ask Him to take away the obsession to get high.

Despite being raised an atheist, I did it. I began to pray. I began to meditate. I began to treat others with the same love and compassion that the sober women in my life showed me. I began to live an honest life based on spiritual principles of honesty, love, and unselfishness.

Today, I have a job that I love where I get to spread awareness around the disease of addiction. I am the manager of a sober living home where I get to watch other women recover from a hopeless state of mind and body. My mother doesn’t have lay awake at night, fearful that her daughter will die. I have a life that I am grateful for today, and that is more than I could’ve ever asked for.

Cassidy Webb is an avid writer from South Florida.  She works for a digital marketing company that advocates spreading awareness on the disease of addiction by writing for websites like Her passion in life is to help others by sharing her experience, strength, and hope. You can find her on Twitter.

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